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|Thursday, August 28th, 2014|
|Almost 2 Years and Cancer Free!
Both my husband and I got lucky. Non-aggressive cancers.
I did have to have a mastectomy and I'm on a 10 year regimen of Tamoxifen but that's it.
My husband only need the one testicle removed and that's it. He only sees the oncologist once every two years now.
I still need to go in every six months. It'll be yearly starting next year.
Cancer is a very scary thing...even when it's not aggressive and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
We will still be paying the medical bills for a while but in this case, it really is just money. Current Mood: calm
|Tuesday, October 30th, 2012|
|An unusual sign that you are really committed to your relationship
Well things got a bit more interesting. In a show of support, my husband wound up with cancer as well! On the same side, no less.
Happily, it was "just" testicular cancer...the most treatable cancer there is. More happily, it didn't spread. He will need some follow up every three months for the next year but for the most part, his cancer journey is over.
Mine is still on going. No chemo, thank goodness but there are still questions about more surgery and/or radiation. Hopefully, I'll find out a bit more when I meet with my oncologist today.
As of right now though, I'm 82% cured. I never thought my life would be viewed as a percentage. It's both amusing and terrifying at the same time...though a bit more on the amusing side.
|Tuesday, August 14th, 2012|
|I have cancer
Now there's a sentence I never thought I would say. But here I am, saying "I have cancer". Fuck.
So...How do I feel? Scared, confused, and more than anything, fucking pissed off! How _dare_ the universe do this to me! I'll fucking kick it's ass!
My prognosis is very good...great, actually. It was caught very early thanks to my doctor insisting I go in and get a mamogram...my very _first_ mamaogram! WTF!!!
Oh well. Nothing to do but kick some cancer's ass but damn, I did not need this on top of everything else going on.
Well, as the saying goes: Life sucks...and then you get a chain saw and a flame thrower. :) Current Mood: aggravated
|Thursday, May 1st, 2008|
|The next fad or the next eating lifestyle?
Okay, in the paper yesterday I was reading about how the "raw food movement" is increasing as a result from the ever expanding "green conciousness" of the general population. There also been more and more calls for people to go vegetarian and/or vegan. Of the vegetarians/vegans there is a greater call to go "raw".
Okay, I have no objections ot any of these. It has been proven in numberous studies that as long as you take B12 and iron, and amino acid supplements most people can go vegetarian/veganwithout adverse effects...though interestingly enough, these diets seem to have an adverse effect on the skin. A friend of mine went to a skin care class last week and the top dermatologist there was able to point out every vegetarian/vegan in the crowd. Weird, huh?
Anyways, I can see the attraction. It's heavy in fresh fruits and veggies, no "bad" fats and no cholesterol. Still a lot of the starchy vegies are better cooked to release those starches that are undigestable. But if people can stay healthy on it, why not?
My husband is a "flexitarian" he likes the vegetarian diet with a bit of fish thrown in here and there. Since he dropped a not so subtle hint and handed me a vegetarian cook book, I decided to reasearch all three of these eating lifestyles and I find them a bit quirky but very interesting.
Of the three, the vegetarian lifestyle is the most flexible. However I was hesitant on going vegetitarian or even flexitarian because of my own health concerns so like any reasonable person I talked with my doctor who stated that though she's glad I wanted to add more fruits and veggies to my diet, I should _not_ give up meat. My anemia is just to precocious and I would wind up needing a blood transfusion in just a couple of weeks.
Well...so much for that. But I am changing my cooking style to add more fruits and veggies since last year so, all in all it was a good venture and it's always a good thing to expand on one's horizons.
|Thursday, March 16th, 2006|
|On a much lighter note...
From an email sent by a coworker:
Today is St. Urho's Day, a celebration of the patron saint of Finnish vineyards who drove all of the grasshoppers out of Finland, thereby saving the yearly crop of grapes. Therefore, the traditional color of St Urho's Day is PURPLE! Let us all fondly remember the brave and heroic acts of St. Urho and his significant contribution to the Finnish winemaking industry by wearing purple on March 16. After all, why should Ireland have all the fun?
Here is the "official" description of St. Uhro's heroism:
The celebration of St. Urho's Day takes place on March 16th.
Generations ago, St. Urho, the patron saint of Finland poised himself for battle with his pitchfork raised high. Determined to save Finland's grape crop, Urho set out to rid the land of the pesky grasshoppers. This is your day and we honor you St. Urho!
So now there's an "offical" reason to wear purple today, and green tomorrow! *bemused*
|Tuesday, December 27th, 2005|
|Discoveries, re-discoveries, and general observations
People are _way_ too good at being sneaky at my workplace. We did a "Secret Santa" thing this year and only two people out of the dozen who participated guessed right.
Thanks to Jones Cola Company, you really _can_ open up a can of "Whoop Ass". I discovered this energy drink while doing holiday shopping. The name alone had me interested (how could you resist a drink called Whoop Ass?). It tastes like Mountain Dew with a kick.
Pat Boone should not try to do what Johnny Cash does/did.
It was a few years ago when both Johnny Cash and Pat Boone came out with their albums with these renditions of heavy metal songs. The local heavy metal radio station played Johnny Cash's version of Rusty Cage and Pat Boone's version of Enter Sandman and polled the audience. Everyone agreed that Johnny Cash rocked and Pat Boone didn't.
Not being much of a head banger but knowing the songs, I was also impressed by Johnny Cash.
What also impressed me is the fact that the man was seventy one when he died and was _still_ making award winning albums. The man was definately an artist.
|Friday, October 14th, 2005|
|A scarily true, but amusing "job posting"
MOM - JOB DESCRIPTION
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, no one would have done it!!!!
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma,Ma
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
|Wednesday, October 5th, 2005|
|Chocoloate, chocolate, and more chocolate!
I'm a year older today and to mark the occasion by supplying me with lots and lots of chocolate:
One home-made brownie
A king sized Hershey bar with almonds
A Scharffen Berger bar! *bounce*
A package each of fun sized Milky Way and Snickers bars
Along with a small sized chocolate baking book...followed by even more chocolate!
It's been a while since I've seen so much chocolate and I'm completely in awe. It's nice to know my co-workers like me so much. *beam*
|Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005|
"What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate."
- Katherine Hepburn Current Mood: amused
|Monday, July 4th, 2005|
On the Discovery Health Channel the other day, they showed an autobiography called "The Boy Whose Skin Fell Off" It was about a man who was born with a very rare birth disorder called Epidermolysis Bullosa or EB for short. Basically the skin never adheres to the flesh and is as fragile as a butterfly's wing. The very act of picking up a fork or taking a step will cause severe pain as the skin blisters, breaks, bleeds, and/or falls off all together.
This man was 36 years old. He learned very early that he had to be very careful but despite his vigilance, 75% of his body was covered in bandages and his hands and feet had become useless scar tissue, leaving him in a wheel chair and just the barest use of his thumbs. He had no hair, given the fact that his scalp kept breaking open every time hair tried to grow and he never went through puberty. A 36 year old trap in a tweleve year old's body.
As a result of this condition, he developed skin cancer. Given the fact that he had no viable skin, an operation to remove the tumor was out of the question and upon much thought he decided to forgo chemo, opting to let the cancer take it's course. The doctor's gave him about a year to live and he decided to share the last six months of it on video to be published to the world.
Despite his life long suffering, he wasn't bitter nor did he want or expect sympathy. He was a bright, intelligent, and very spiritual person who had a very good outlook on life. There was one very heart wrenching scene where it was time to change the bandages on his back. As his mother ever so slowly and carefully peeled the bandages away, he nearly writhed in agony as sores reopened and new skin was torn off. Afterwards, once he recovered he shared his view that he was put on this earth to learn to live a life in discomfort and not let that discomfort mold him into a person he didn't want to be.
Not once did you hear "see how much suffering I have to endure", though he would have had every right to do so and even though there were days where the pain was so bad, he felt he couldn't take it any more, he made himself keep going.
He was very practical about planning his funeral and picking out his coffin, even having the coffin maker carve a picture of a can of baked beans on the coffin just so it would give something for people to talk about.
I couldn't help but think how nice it would be, in that respect to know when you were going to die. You could have all your affairs in order and make sure your funeral would be exactly how you wanted it.
His story was inspiring and sad, but not tragic. He lived his life the fullest he could, becoming the main spokesperson for a charity called DEBra. He even traveled to London, just barely hanging on to life to insure his charity got a big donation. He learned to fly, and even bought his own house. It was a combination house warming party and a chance for all his friends to say goodbye. In the end he died where he wanted and how he wanted. No one could ask better than that.
His story also made one think and it really brought life and it's many agonies, trials, and tribulations in perspective. Everyone has some sort of issue(s) stemming from their past, health problems, stressful living situations, and/or stressful work environments and it's _so_ damned easy to wallow in our despair and say "poor me, look how much I have to suffer." We all do it at one time or another, we're suffering and it's all about us. As if we're somehow special in our suffering. It's so easy to be so centralized and when you see a documentary like this, it really take you out of that centralization and think "my gawd, what are my problems compared to that!"
He was living proof that things could always be worse. And he was living proof that no matter what your problems are, you don't have to let them shape you someone who is bitter, angry, and cynical even though you may have every right to be that way. "Life's a bitch" as they say and it can be so easy to be a bitch as well.
It also made me feel very ashamed that I was in a victim's mindset for so long, that I did say "poor me, look how much I have to suffer" I wore my suffering as a badge, as if I was somehow special in my suffering. Yes, very ashamed indeed, though I did and _do_ take heart in the fact that I'm not that person any more and seeing this autobiography has encouraged me to keep changing for the better.
His goal was not to change people's lives, but just to make them think outside of themselves for a while. He definately succeeded with me.
|Tuesday, June 28th, 2005|
|Step _away_ from the LSD!
I just saw the trailer for the remake of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". _Really_ bizarre/surreal scenery/colors and the scenes they showed had acting that was...weird at best. One _could_ conclude that they had _way_ too much fun making this movie, I suppose but to me it looked like some bizarre acid trip. Not that I have first hand knowledge, mind you. I'm only going by all the many reports from people who have used this substance.
Though from what I gather, it's not as surreal as Pink Floyd's "The Wall". There were many reports that people took acid just before they went to see the movie so they could actually understand it. *smile*
|Thursday, June 23rd, 2005|
There's been a lot of articles lately about the fur seal hunting by Canada and whale hunting by Japan. According to a recent CNN article, Japan hunts whales for "scientific study" and then distribute the meat. Apparently "scientific study" is one of those loophole things. At least Canada is honest about hunting seals.
In both cases these countries defend their practices by stating these practices are a part of their culture...the same went for the Native Americans in Washington when they took up whale hunting.
The thing that keeps entering my mind is this: Okay, so it was/is part of your culture. Slavery was a part of America's culture, should we bring that back? What about "female circumcision", foot binding, and stoning, just to name a few?
Just because a certain practice is/was part of your culture doesn't mean it's right. Especially if it entails degradation, mutilation, and/or death of another person or the extinction of another species.
I honestly don't see how these people see using culture as a valid defense for such harmful practices, I really don't. Happily neither do most of the other governmental powers that be.
This is yet another "I am _so_ glad I don't understand this" sort of things. *sigh*
|Thursday, June 9th, 2005|
|Last Temptation Of / Passion of Christ
A few months ago on a day where I was bored and sick with a really bad cold, I was flipping through channels and happened upon the two "controversial" films, The Last Temptation of Christ and The Passion of the Christ. So I figured, what the hell? I was bored and therefore subceptible to curiosity and since I had nothing better to do at the time, I decided to kill four hours watching these two films.
I had one over all thought after both films: Dude! _Way_ too many drugs!
On The Last Temptation: They made sure to note that the film wasn't based on the bible but on a fictional work from an author who had deep thoughts on what Jesus might have gone through during his last year. Personally, I really didn't care but I could see why they felt the need to note that before the film.
As for the film itself, _really_ bad acting and some of the scenes, especially with John the Baptist had me thinking the " Dude! _Way_ too much acid!" So what was the big "controversy"? The idea that Jesus wanted to live the life of an ordinary man, not the son of a god....get married, have children, and die an old man in his bed surrounded by loved ones. He lives this life in the film and then when it is finally revealed that Lucifer decieved him, he repents and is back on the cross that he forsook.
To me, it made sense. After all what mortal being _wouldn't_ want to foresake such a "destiny". To die via crucifixion as a martyr or die as an old man surrounded by family? Gee, hard choice there. But I do see why there was such an uproar over this really bad, C-grade film. The concept that Jesus was a willing martyr and embraced his "destiny" seems sacred to the Christian sect and to suggest otherwise probably seems to them as heresy. To me, it was just a really badly made film that probably would have been forgotten if they had not decided to label it as "controversial"
On The Passion of Christ: Better acting, though it really did seem that they were focusing on the Jews wanting Jesus to be crucified. Over and over the elders are shown to demand the crucifixiction without giving a reason for their demand. Though I didn't feel it as anti-semitic, I did feel that it touched the line. As for the scourging.. _to me_ wasn't as "shocking and brutal" as all the reports said, but then again, I realize I have an "old soldier" type view of these sort of things.
To me, the film as a whole had a very disjointed feel to it. A person who didn't know the...histroy? mythology? of Christianity wouldn't have a clue what this film was supposed to be about. Yes, they made it clear it was focused on the trial and crucifixion only long before the movie came out but still, a _little_ background wouldn't have hurt. As it was, it felt they were just punishing and killing somebody for no apparent reason. In that respect, there really wasn't a plot to the film. Whatever point Mel was trying to make _really_ faild to come across to me. In fact, I'm not sure if there _was_ a point. All I could think at the end was "Mel, what ever drugs you are taking, you have _got_ to stop!"
Still, I couldn't complain. I had four hours of surrealism on what would have been an otherwise dull and miserable day. *smirk*
|Monday, May 9th, 2005|
|There's a first time...
I recently went on my first airplane flight on my first buisness trip to New Orleans. Work sent me there to attend a seminar that was thought to be about the customer realtions piece to this software my company will eventually adopt. But it was really about the web portal and content management piece, which worked out even better for me.
I was all over the taxonomies and metadata tag and truly enjoyed myself, feeling like the presenter was "speaking my language" afterwards the other attendees from the various other societies joked that I was now in charge of taxonomies for all the other societies in the country. At least I _thought_ they were joking until I got back to work and JL made it clear that no, they _weren't_ joking and I am offically the head of the yet to be formed National Taxonomy Group for all the societies...(okayyy...um...eep!). It'll be a while before people get "volunteered" for this group so I have some time before I have to really think/worry about it.
The plane flights went smoothly, though were a bit disorienting at first. By my third flight (the first of two on my way home) I felt like an old pro.
Some lessons learned: The snacks they serve on the airplane are a bit expensive but worth it if you're looking at _hours_ before you get to eat. _Definately_ bring _at least_ two books, if not more. *smile*
|Friday, March 25th, 2005|
|Friday, March 18th, 2005|
|Just because it's silly...
| Official Survivor |
Congratulations! You scored 70%!
Whether through ferocity or quickness, you made it out. You made the
right choice most of the time, but you probably screwed up somewhere.
Nobody's perfect, at least you're alive.
| How you compared to other people your age and gender: |
|You scored higher than 94% on survivalpoints|
|Monday, January 3rd, 2005|
|I created a monster!
It all started just before Christmas. I went to the drugstore across the street from my work to pick up some vitamins and decided to browse around a little. There in the "seasonal" section was this plush baby chick in a Santa beard and hat with a tag on it's left wing that invited "Try me!". So I pushed the little button that was embedded in it's left wing and it started playing "The Chicken Dance".
The funny thing was, that very morning, I had told my coworkers I was looking for this very thing (though not in the Santa outfit) as a present for my beloved and there it was, wiggling in my hand while playing that irresistibly catchy tune!
Now, I had already bought two presents for him and I was hestitant to get him a third because I promised him I wouldn't spend too much. So...after sleeping on it for a day, calculating what I spent on him so far and thinking about it the whole time on my way to work the next morning, I decided that I _had_ to get it for him.
As it turned out, I made the right decision because he absolutely loved it! I knew he would but it was nice to be proven right.
The thing is, he liked it so much that he pressed the button no less than three times and has been humming the tune off and on ever since. So now, of course the tune keeps popping up in _my_ head so we're _both_ haunted by this little "ear bug". And the worst part is...I have no one to blame but myself! *bemused*
I have to admit though, this type of irony, really is a lot of fun. *giggle*
|Tuesday, December 21st, 2004|
So today we had our cookie exchange/contest and I won a prize for the best tasting cookie. It's this really cute looking ceramic snowman dressed as a baker, pulling some dough. It's not something I would have chosen for myself but I do like it.
It's nice to know that I still have "the baker's touch", as I like to call it. *beam*
|Monday, December 13th, 2004|
|You know your life has gotten surreal when...
You exasperatedly ask your children "Will you two please quit fighting for just five minutes?!" only to turn around the next moment and ask the same thing...to your cats. *bemused*
|Monday, November 22nd, 2004|
|So...it's offically Asperger Syndrome
Of course, the ex and I knew that, considering it runs in his family...we've been trying to tell this to the various school administrators for years but they kept trying to label the boys as either ADHD, ADD or OCD..all of which are common misdiagnoses of Asperger. But we knew better..and finally after long, ardious searchings, my ex found a school that actually has staff qualified to recognize and work with this syndrome and after various testing they confirmed what we've been trying to tell them for years. Why do they never listen to parents?
Happily, it's a very mild version that they have and they are already florishing after just two months in the new school. Hungry1 is having a more difficult time, being the more emotionally volitle of the two. I helped them both out grow the violent emotional outbreaks they had when they were toddlers. Now they both struggle with very stong depressive episodes...especially Hungry1...especially when change occurs. People with Asperger Syndrome don't do well with change at all. However, he is slowly coming around and he's showing marked improvement in is concentration and cognative skills.
Hungry2 is doing fantastic. He still has a lot of trouble concentrating and has minor obsessive episodes but his repetitive speech is reducing more and more and he's grasping concepts _a lot_ better.
The kind of funny thing is the school administrators couldn't go by parts of their testing simply because they boys got bored and refused to do them. But despite the gaps in testing they still measured IQs of 115 and 112 respectively. Of course now we are all wondering what they would have tested if they had actually managed to concentrate and do the parts they skipped.
I couldn't help but be amused when the ex told me this. They definately inherited my stubborness. They'll retest them again in about a year. By then the boys will be well used to their new routines. I'm just glad they are finally getting the help and close attention that they need.